Holiday gatherings are a time to connect with extended family and friends, but they also come with challenges. Whether it’s navigating political differences, managing crowded environments or simply keeping children on their best behavior, these events can easily become sources of anxiety.
Lindsay Van Parys, a licensed and accredited medical and mental health care provider, said children are particularly sensitive to disrupted routines and heightened behavioral expectations during the holidays.
“Children thrive on routines and clear expectations of behavior,” Van Parys said. “It is important that caregivers prepare their child for changes in routine and provide general details of what their holiday schedule will look like.” A mother of three, Van Parys advises parents to maintain as much of their routines as possible and make clear what behaviors are expected, including consequences and rewards.
She said caregivers should be aware that kids pick up on their stress, so it’s essential for adults to model good behavior and recognize that holiday gatherings can overstimulate even the calmest children.
Van Parys said excessive noise, unfamiliar foods or crowded environments can lead to meltdowns, especially for neurodivergent children or those with mental health conditions like anxiety. She encourages parents to “show some grace if overstimulation occurs,” and suggested having a plan for when events become too overwhelming.
Ragan Sutterfield, associate rector at Christ Church in Little Rock, offered a uncomplicated solution for reducing holiday stress: Learn to say “no.” His family sets aside one day a week free from screens and obligations, which helps them limit expectations.
“My family struggles like everyone else with all of the expectations around holidays, but we work to remind ourselves that we are finite. We can only do so much,” Sutterfield said. “By working hard not to be busy, we get closer than we would otherwise.”
Families should discuss which gatherings and traditions are most essential and spend their time accordingly, ensuring room for relaxation and connection. “Avoid over-explaining why you may not attend a certain event or stay as long as usual,” Van Parys advised. By prioritizing time together over a packed calendar, families can avoid the exhaustion that often accompanies the holidays.
Gift-giving is another holiday stressor. Driven by desires to create picture-perfect holidays, parents and children often find themselves overwhelmed.
April Pollard, a Little Rock-based financial planner, advises clients with a focus on economic and psychological well-being. She explained that the season’s financial pressures often come with hidden emotional burdens. “There’s a lot of shame that comes with overspending,” Pollard noted. “It’s not just the act of spending, it’s the hidden regret that comes later when people realize the long-term impact of their choices.”
Pollard encourages families to reflect on their financial priorities before shopping. She suggests intentional planning throughout the year, such as setting up a holiday savings account. “If you know you’ll spend $1,000 on Christmas, start saving early and allocate funds throughout the year,” she said.
Pollard also highlights the importance of managing expectations, particularly when it comes to children. “Instead of saying, ‘We don’t have the money for that,’ I tell my kids, ‘We haven’t allocated dollars for that right now.’ It’s all about the language you use — it’s not about making them feel like their desires don’t matter, but helping them understand that finances are a matter of prioritization.”
This approach not only alleviates some of the financial pressure, but also teaches children valuable lessons about budgeting and patience.
Pollard also suggests moving away from consumerism by giving experiential gifts, such as park passes or volunteering as a family. “These create lasting memories that are far more valuable than the latest gadgets,” she said.
The pressure is equally intense for children, especially when they see peers giving and receiving pricey presents or posting about lavish gifts or trips on social media.
Carol Ballard, an elementary school teacher in rural Arkansas, has seen the toll that holiday gift-giving can take on kids, especially those from low-income families. “It’s not classic peer pressure, but internalized pressure from seeing their friends give when they can’t,” Ballard explained. This is particularly evident in school settings, where some children feel embarrassed or excluded because they cannot afford to participate in gift exchanges.
“There have been so many kids throughout the years who say to me, ‘Ms. Ballard, I really want to give you something for Christmas,’ after seeing their peers give, and it’s truly their heart’s desire to give, but they can’t afford to do so,” she said.
Ballard recommends that schools consider “no gift” policies or focus on crafts instead of gift exchanges to reduce pressure on children and parents. If parents really want to acknowledge a teacher, a gift can be given outside of the classroom. “This would ensure that no child feels left out,” she said.
At home, Van Parys suggests focusing on gratitude and connection rather than materialism, teaching children to appreciate blessings and to shift from receiving to giving.
At the Sutterfields’ house, they keep gift-giving uncomplicated. “Each year, we give our daughters a book, a donation to the World Wildlife Fund to support the animal of their choice — usually accompanied by a stuffed animal as a representation — and something to empower their creativity, such as an instrument or art supplies,” Sutterfield said. He adds that the family practices daily thanksgiving and gratitude through prayer, which “can help ward off the dissatisfaction that drives materialism.”
Social media adds another layer of complexity, amplifying the pressure to present a perfect holiday. Van Parys encourages parents to model positive behavior by limiting their screen time and discussing the unrealistic portrayals found online. “Explain that social media posts usually are not an accurate depiction of real life,” she advised.
Sutterfield and his wife quit social media years ago and don’t regret it. “Our children have rich social lives with face-to-face contact,” he says, adding that they feel little need for online validation.
Fostering meaningful holiday traditions is another way to move away from consumerism.
At Christ Church in Little Rock, families like Sutterfield’s celebrate Advent by making wreaths together. This tradition helps them connect spiritually and center their holiday experience around gratitude and prayer.
“Those wreaths create a place where every evening, for the four weeks leading up to Christmas, families can gather to offer prayers and light candles,” Sutterfield explained. “Candles are part of the prayer tradition of many faiths through the winter. They can be a centering point for gathering, holy silence and celebration — whatever your faith tradition.”
For families looking to create fresh traditions, Sutterfield recommends keeping things uncomplicated. One of his family’s favorite holiday activities is decorating a tree in the park with natural materials. Using pine cones and birdseed, the family makes ornaments to decorate the trees for the animals. “It gives us a meaningful way to be in the community with others and offers a little gift to the creatures we love in our local ecosystem.”
Ultimately, the holidays are an opportunity to focus on what truly matters. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries around gift-giving and social media, and embracing traditions that reflect core values, families can more easily navigate this time of year and ensure the holidays remain joyous.
